Surrogacy offers hope. It manifests as the single most selfless act a woman can do for a couple struggling to make a family.
The journey is worthwhile, but it is not uncommon to encounter hardships along the way. It’s important to remember that no matter how heavy the struggle feels, there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome.
Miscarriage
One of the most ecstatic parts of the surrogacy journey is the moment the pregnancy is confirmed. After all of that celebration, if a miscarriage occurs, it can be incredibly disheartening.
A miscarriage should not alter your focus. Take some time to mourn, then get back to the goal. Consult your doctor to learn if there is anything you could do differently to increase chances for carrying to term next time.
Maintain focus: nothing good comes easy. All your work and commitment will be worthwhile once the baby is born.
Selective Reduction
To increase the chances of a successful pregnancy, multiple embryos may be transferred at one time. This can result in multiple pregnancies and possibly a selective reduction.
People’s opinions about selective reduction can vary drastically. To overcome this struggle, take the time to discuss your views on the subject before the contract is signed. IPs and surrogates may feel awkward initiating the conversation but neither side will ever regret the discussion if the time comes to consider the procedure.
Depression
It can be hard on you as the surrogate to part with the child. Even when you knows the child does not belong with you, you can’t help feeling the close connection forged from carrying him or her.
Whenever you’re feeling dark and depressed, it’s critical to get help—and get it fast. If you worked with a reputable surrogacy agency, such as Worldwide Surrogacy Specialists, then you can connect with the experienced staff to discuss your feelings.
Counselors, online forums and support groups are also excellent resources to help you through and reframe your dark days into a proud and positive reflection on the amazing gift you just gave.
Not Getting Pregnant
Pairing with the right IP(s) is a step in the right direction. Once you’ve successfully paired with your IP(s), you wait for the news that one of the embryo transfers took and you’re pregnant. So, what if that news never comes?
In some cases, it can take multiple attempts to get pregnant. When designing the surrogacy agreement both parties will discuss how many IVF cycles they will commit to.
If pregnancy does not happen during the agreed to cycles, you have options. Both sides may choose to try again with a new contract. Other IP(s)/surrogates may decide to part ways and find another match.
Lack of Support or Acceptance
Not everyone understands surrogacy, or why it’s so important for you. Some friends and/or family members may struggle to accept your choice.
On the other hand, several other loved ones will embrace your decision and support you throughout the process. If the surrogate’s spouse and children are on board and the IPs have loved ones on their side, no amount of negativity can overcome the joy and excitement sparked once the journey begins.
