Recently I had the pleasure of discussing a gestational carrier contract with some clients who expressed to me, "We are very fortunate to have the means to be able to do this and we want to ask you if there are any financial terms in the contract that you think we should increase?" Of course, not all intended parents have the means to be unconcerned about a budget but the point is, these intended parents came to the table realizing what an important role the surrogate is playing in their lives and they wanted to acknowledge this.
Surrogacy is frustrating and problematic when people, especially intended parents, focus too intensely on the money. This is not an area of life that should have nickels and dimes in the forefront. Remember what is going on. A woman is using her physical well-being, her body, and her life to gestate and carry your baby. She is taking the tiny seed of an embryo into herself and nurturing it as it grows into a baby ready for the world and ready to be placed in your arms.
Arguably, the development of the fetus in utero may be the most important developmental period in your child's life. I urge all intended parents to recognize this and acknowledge the significance of the surrogate's role in the creation of their family.
Obviously there are standards of compensation and these are to be respected. No one should think about overreaching or taking advantage of the other party. Each person involved in a surrogacy agreement is vulnerable. The intended parents intensely want a child and are sad and hopeful at the same time. On the other hand, the surrogate wants to be treated with respect and gratitude.
When coming up with a surrogacy plan, I believe it very rewarding if everyone involved brings spiritual and compassionate energy to the table. These elements will help everyone achieve a more satisfying and joyful surrogacy journey.
