Every successful surrogacy journey begins with the right match. As a surrogate, finding the right IPs to share your journey with makes the experience far more meaningful.
Whether you’re just starting your application or you’re ready and eager to begin the matching process, consider these tips to help you find your perfect match.
Before you begin the search for your perfect IP match, devise a plan outlining what you expect and need from the experience.
Items to consider include: what kind of family/families you would work with (i.e. same sex couples, single IPs, IPs with different religious affiliation, IPs of a different race); what kind of relationship you hope to have with the IP(s) during the journey and after the baby is born; and whether or not you’ll work with a surrogacy agency or find IPs on her own to create an independent surrogacy agreement.
There are benefits to working with a surrogacy agency. Surrogacy agencies will only present IP(s) and/or surrogates who have successfully completed a pre-screening process. The process looks different for each party, but it confirms certain qualifications that may not be checked in an independent surrogacy agreement.
Surrogacy agencies bring a wealth of experience to their work, which can be a huge benefit if you’re uncertain about any elements of the surrogacy journey. If you choose to work with an agency, you can turn to them for advice, support, and guidance.
Some surrogates choose to find IPs on their own and create an independent surrogacy agreement.
The strongest argument for choosing independent surrogacy is negotiating compensation. Some surrogates seek to earn more than the average monetary compensation and feel they are more likely to secure their request independent of an agency’s involvement.
However, you won’t have the experience, support or guidance from an agency if you choose not to work with one. Independent surrogacy agreements can work, but you’ll need to be well informed in all areas of surrogacy to protect yourself and create a successful situation.
Of course, the surrogate and the IP(s) may feel a wave of emotions before their first contact. Everyone really wants this and may be afraid to say the wrong thing or rock the boat before going to contract. However, initial meeting(s) are a crucial time to ask questions that will help you know for certain whether or not the IP(s) are the right match.
Depending on what points you identified as deal makers or breakers in your surrogacy plan, you can ask questions to learn about the IP(s). You may find peace of mind asking about their interests and hobbies, or their parenting hopes and beliefs. You may want to ask what they like about you and why they believe you’ll be a good match…there really are infinite options for topics to discuss.
Most importantly, be sure to ask the questions that will let you know for sure that this/these IP(s) are the perfect match for your surrogacy journey.