Sometimes a surrogate and her intended parents live quite a distance apart, making it hard for them to meet in person. Whether a surrogate is working with international intended parents (IPs) or a family on the opposite side of the U.S., the number of in-person visits may be limited. Fortunately, there are still ways to maintain more intimate contact than via a traditional phone call.
Skype or Facetime
When a surrogate is matched with her potential intended parents, scheduling a meeting is the final step before making the match official. If the IPs live abroad or across the U.S., a video call is a great way to facilitate the conversation.
If you are not yet familiar with video calling, here is a brief breakdown of the two most popular options: Skype and Facetime. Skype is available to anyone and can be used on any device. Skype offers free basic services. Facetime is an app available to Apple/Macintosh users only. Facetime comes pre-installed on newer versions of the Apple products.
Take Time to Prepare Before the First Talk
As a surrogate candidate, you are likely to be excited and maybe even a bit anxious about this first call, so make sure you take the time to prepare. Whichever video-calling app will be used, a practice run is recommended to check for any problems or bugs that may occur in order to fix any issues before the first talk.
Take the time to create a list of questions in order to learn more about your intended parents. Reviewing their profiles can be a helpful way of thinking of additional questions. Before the call, have a supportive person review the list of questions for any suggestions.
Once you have spoken with your potential intended parents, you will then both decide if you would like to continue getting to know each other and make the match official.
Making it Personal
If you are open to the unique dynamics of a surrogacy with a loving family abroad or across the country, you may want to make the video calling experience more personal. Consider having your loved ones and/or family members join in on one of the later video chats. Introduce your IPs to those who will be supporting you as a surrogate. Walk around your home and show your IPs some of your favorite spots to relax or spend time with loved ones.
When IPs are limited by the number of times they can join you in person for doctor visits or ultrasounds, invite them to participate through a video call. If a time conflict prevents them from participating during the visit, ask a loved one to record it, then send the recording to the IPs. During the next video chat, you can recapture the excitement together, maintaining the feeling that you are sharing each step in the journey.
Making it Work
Skype and Facetime are two options that can help connect surrogates with their IPs, keeping everyone involved throughout the surrogacy. Facetiming during an ultrasound, skyping during a doctor’s visit, or sending smartphone pictures and videos of your growing belly are all wonderful ways that you, as a surrogate, can build a strong connection with intended parents who may not always be there in person.
If you have any further questions about facilitating discussion, icebreakers, or what you should ask when first talking with potential parents, etc. please reach out to Worldwide Surrogacy Specialists for help!
