Throughout the surrogacy journey, there are numerous resources available to both intended parents and surrogates, from advice on medically assisted procreation, to what to expect in a surrogacy contract, and everything in between.
However, when the journey comes to an end, both surrogates and intended parents may find they could use some guidance as they transition into their new lives.
The Transition
When the surrogacy journey has come to an end, there will be a transitional period for everyone involved. There is the literal transition of the baby from the surrogate to the intended parents, but there is an emotional transfer as well.
The birth of the baby marks the end of the journey for the surrogate, where all of her dedication and commitment has culminated into the birth of what is hopefully a happy, healthy baby.
For the intended parents, the birth marks the beginning of a new life, a life they have only dreamed about having until now. This is a momentous event that often carries with it a wealth of emotions.
New Emotions
It is perfectly natural for both surrogates and IPs to experience a range of new emotions after the birth.
While most surrogates will experience feelings of joy and fulfillment right away, others may experience a brief sense of loss, particularly if they had a strong connection with their IPs. It is important to remember that there are still plenty of ways for surrogates to maintain a connection with their intended parents post-journey.
Intended parents generally experience many new emotions after the birth, often simultaneously, ranging from overwhelming joy, to relief, to disbelief, to some nervous jitters. Seeing their new child in front of them suddenly makes their new roles as parents a reality. Fortunately, there are a number of ways for new parents to start the bonding process and emotionally connect with their new baby early on.
Parent/Child Bonding
New parents will come to share a deep connection and bond with their child. And while many IPs will feel an instant connection, others may find that the connection grows over time.
There are a number of ways for IPs to nurture that bond, from cuddling, to communication, to carrying them in order to create a healthy sense of attachment. It is also important for IPs to remember that while their home is comfortable to them, it is foreign to their child. It is critical to create a space that is comforting and familiar to ease the transition for baby.
Introducing transitional items in the hospital after the birth is a great way to establish that familiarity early on. These are items from the intended parents’ home that can help familiarize the child with their new surroundings. Stuffed animals make great transitional items, as baby will learn to associate their familiar scent with home. Playing soft music can also be effective for creating a relaxed atmosphere.
Second Surrogacy
For the surrogate, once the journey is over, there is often a desire to start the process again with a second surrogacy. Many first-time surrogates feel this way after experiencing an amazing sense of joy and fulfillment from watching their intended parents hold their new baby for the first time.
Likewise, if the intended parents decide to have another child through surrogacy, it is not uncommon for them to request to work with the same gestational surrogate who carried their first child, as there is already a familiarity. This is a great benefit to the surrogate as well, as she will already be familiar with any preferences and expectations from the original working relationship.
Regardless of whether or not the surrogate starts a second journey with the same family or a new one, it is important to remember that just because the first journey was a success does not ensure that the second will be identical; each journey has its own set of potential risks.
Fortunately, the end result of creating a new life and continuing to build families through the gift of surrogacy makes the journey absolutely worthwhile.
