When seeking to become a surrogate, there are a lot of things to think about and decisions to make. This all starts with the most important consideration, making sure you are working with reputable professionals. How can you make sure of that? Here are a number of things to look for when choosing a surrogacy agency.
References
Speak to other women who have become surrogates. If you are considering a particular agency, ask to speak with other surrogate moms who have worked with that agency. This is what intended parents do often. They ask for references.
A Solid Team
When you apply to an agency, you should feel a sense of security and stability that they know what they are doing, and that they are responsive to you. There should be a team of people that will be taking care of you including:
- A support person dedicated to assisting you with screening, matching and medical calendars.
- A manager of escrow matters to make sure your intended parents deposit the funds for the surrogacy journey into an escrow account. This gives you assurance that you will be paid timely and efficiently. The last thing you need is to worry about payments when you are pregnant and gestating a baby for your intended parents.
- A lawyer who works at or for the agency. They are a great resource that you can speak to both before making a decision about the agency, and during the surrogacy journey to know what your legal rights are. Of course, you will have your own lawyer for the gestational surrogacy contract but if you have general questions about the law or your rights or obligations, it is important that the agency can offer you some help in this regard.
The agency team should be a team that cares for you as a surrogate and a person, and one that truly appreciates what you are doing. If things don't go well such as a negative embryo transfer or a miscarriage, there should be compassion and care extended to you. This means that people at the agency will reach out to you and make sure you are okay and ask you about your feelings and your thoughts about continuing on the path to achieve a surrogate pregnancy.
A Knowledgeable Team
You also need a team that understands the science of IVF, the creation of embryos, the medications you will required to take and the timing of the process. Then if you have questions, your questions will be answered.
A Selective Agency
The best part of surrogacy is the relationship between you and your intended parents and this is culminated in the birth of the baby when all of you are intimately connected during this momentous occasion. Your relationship with them is of utmost importance. You should be reassured that the agency will propose to you intended parents who are wonderful and deserving people who have been planning and longing for a child, and who have an understanding of your journey and commitment to you as well. For example, in becoming a surrogate, you may choose your physicians. It is a good idea that you and your intended parents discuss who the treating physicians will be so that you all are on the same page. If you are committed to using the obstetrician that you used for your own children, then you need to feel comfortable to explain to your intended parents about why you want to use this doctor. Try to make this discussion an opportunity to build trust in each other so they will appreciate that you are explaining this to them and understand why you want to use your doctor.
Becoming a surrogate is an important and momentous decision for you and your family. Do your research and choose an agency that has a team of people who are there for you, who will make sure your rights are protected and concerns addressed, and who make you feel secure and happy about your decision.
