There is no feeling that compares to that of having a child. Despite the occasional hardships and frustrations, ask any parent if they would endure it all again and they all say the same thing: a million times over if it were necessary. When some moms hear the heartbreaking stories of men and women who want nothing more than to have a child but cannot physically do so, and they start considering the idea of surrogacy. There is no greater gift than the gift of life. Choosing to share that with someone who cannot experience it alone must be one of the most noble and selfless acts of humanity.
Understand the Commitment
Choosing to be a surrogate is a huge commitment. Once you’re matched with IPs, you begin IVF treatments. While it is possible to become pregnant during the first IVF cycle, it is common for surrogates to go through more than one. During each cycle, the surrogate is committing to attend scheduled appointments and hormone injections. She is responsible for maintaining the scheduled injections and follow-up appointments.
Surrogates also need to acknowledge the emotional investment. Any woman strong enough to carry another’s child is amazingly resilient, but even she can struggle with failed IVF attempts, or a miscarriage. A woman committing to be a gestational carrier will know for sure that she can work through any obstacles to successfully carry a child to term.
Think About the Impact on Your Family
No one can tell you to become a surrogate—that is a decision only you can make. However, when you have a family of your own, youneeds to consider how your loved ones will be affected by your decision.
Being pregnant is wonderful, but it’s not easy, and pregnant women need help from others. A surrogate will need the support of her partner. Without your partner’s willingness to commit to the surrogacy, it is less likely to go as smoothly as it should.
Any woman considering becoming a surrogate must also examine the impact it will have on her own children. You will need to take time away from your family to attend medical appointments. Third-term pregnancy can force women to slow down, and you become pregnant with multiples, you may be on bedrest.
Surrogates also need to be ready to field questions from their kids. Your children may wonder why mommy is having a baby, but that baby will not be their little sister or brother. You should know exactly what being a surrogate means to you, and be willing to share that stance with your children to help them understand and find meaning in the process.
Choosing to be a surrogate is an exceptional gift to give but it is a great commitment. If you determine that the commitment can work with your family life, it will be one of the greatest experiences of all!
